Sarah is fulfilled.

I am so happy right now.
This morning I was unhappy and suicidal.
I inflicted pain upon myself for reasons that seem so ridiculous now.
Something didn't go right while I was asleep, I guess.
Because I woke up feeling so down about myself.
But that's all done with now.
I've done the things I needed to do.
I contacted Barbara, who is moving on Thursday, and we are seeing a movie or something tomorrow.
I also made her her gift, that I will give to her tomorrow.
We invited CATHERINE and Shannon along, but Shannon is in Yosemite apparently (lawl, oops) and CATHERINE says it's too far D:
It is rather far, though. From my area too.
My mother didn't look too pleased about our chosen location.
But last time I was there, I had fun. Haha.
After tomorrow is over with, I will be worry free for the most part.
I need to do my summer reading project and such,
but that will get done.
The books are short.
Both books were already required in 8th grade.
(Not that I read them.)

Time for a different tone in this entry,
I have recently taken a whole new aspect on life.
I've decided to give up this life full of short choppy hair and tight pants with t-shirt.
I've decided that's just not for me.
I don't want to be that person.
I've just been trying to please people by being that way.
And I hadn't realized it until now.
No, I will look the way I want.
The way that I know is right for me.
I'm going to avoid Hot Topic at all costs,
And appreciate good music.
Not that alternative crap that people are raving about 24/7.
I am going to work on my art again.
The way I always used to.
I'm going to cut my bangs straight across, no longer will they be angled.
I'm only going to straighten my hair for special occasions, and let my natural waves flourish.
I am going to complete at least five books of my choice this year, out of pure pleasure.
I am going to do my homework every night, and have fun doing it.
I am going to study long and hard, even if I don't feel the need to.
I am going to discover who my real friends are, and try my best to stick with them.
I am going to let things go, and let people go that I know I should.
I am going to keep going for my goals.
I am going to be clean and organized by practice.
I will do my best to not act so insane, and be normal for once.
I will stop trying to impress people.
I will take things more seriously.
No longer shall I be considered "the freak" of the group.
I'm not going to give up being outspoken, but tone it down when I know I should.
I am going to respect the fact that I attend a Catholic school and was raised Catholic, even if I disagree with most of their beliefs.
I am going to try my best to respect my teachers, even the ones I hate.
I am going to listen to my parents.
I am going to stop hating people for what they've done in the past and look into the future.
I am going to share my feelings without feeling vulnerable, because I know my real friends will understand.
I'm going to avoid swearing at all costs and be more polite.
I am going to stop correcting people's grammar.
I am going to laugh at the stupid things I've done and embrace them as a learning opportunity.
I will break the reputation of being the stupid one of my peers.
I am going to accept the fact that we're all human. We make mistakes.
I'm not going to be jealous of anybody.
I am going to accept the way I look, even if I hate it.
If I feel the need to change something about myself, I'll really try.
I'm going to stop making accusations.
I will take the time to learn how to play my guitar. It's gathering dust in my bedroom.
I'm going to sing to myself, no matter how horrible I sound.
I am going to be less selfish, even if it takes work.
I will stop asking for so many things and learn to love the things I have now.
I will work for something I really want.
I will accept my brother's choices even if I disagree with them strongly.
I will stop trying to rule people's lives and restrain from bossing people around, even if it's unintentional.
I will work as hard on school work as I do on making my dolls and artwork.
I will enjoy school as much as I enjoy my favourite television shows.
I will not physically abuse my equipment or myself when something goes wrong.
I am going to learn how to just take a deep breath and deal with it.
I am going to care more about my education than Kris Allen.

There are many more things I could list, but these are the main things I need to work on.
It's going to take a while to accomplish this, but I will try as hard as I can.
I don't like the person I am one bit.
And I know I need to change.

Sarah has a busy weekend

This weekend will actually be full of stuff to do, which I am super duper happy about considering how boring my summer has been so far. Besides California and going out with friends of course. But this will be a consistent weekend of funnn. Time to pour the details onto you readers of DOOM. (sneezes) Not sure why I typed that. Bless me!

Note: Cattie, I would love to be kidnapped and see The Proposal with you, but unfortunately I have already made plans on Friday to sleepover at Emily's. D: I AM SORRY, MY LOVEEEEERRR.

Okay, anyways. Where was I? Oh, yes. My weekend schedule. First off, on Friday I will go to Emily's house whenever she gets out of summer school...which, actually will be pretty late. Maybe I can be kidnapped if Cattie doesn't get anyone else. Yeah, I'll be your backup plan then. Hahaha. Anyhoo, I'll do the sleepover yambajamba. Stay up late talking about cyber nerd stuff, as usual. Or just juicy gossip that no one else cares about. Maybe we will be up until 4 playing on Gaia again? You never know.

Then I'll most likely stay late on Saturday...not night late, I mean like, afternoon type. Then I will only have a few hours left in the day...then I will go home. Sleep, wake up, and get ready for church (yeah...my mum is making me go on Father's Day) in my new dress, shoes, and a bag my cousin bought me years ago that matches oh so perfectly. Then I will arrive at church in a dress instead of jeans and a T-shirt like I usually do, which will utterly shock my previous teachers. I can see it now, "Sarah? You're wearing a dress? And it's pink? Has salvation arrived in society?" I am not sure why I am going to church if I already deamed that I am no longer Catholic. Then again, my mum is right that I was baptized and will be Confirmed...but still. I don't believe in this stuff. I wish there was an undenominational Christian church I could attend. (sigh)

Anyways, after that horrible hour (Sorry, God), we will most likely go home and change then head off to Bello's (or is it Bellow's...?) beach park to hang with Emily's family once more, as we do every Father's Day. And Mother's Day too. I don't swim at the beach. I hate the beach. But it will be fun to go if my friends are there. Yes... so. Fun weekend.

I just realized, why do majority of my friends have summer school? It's just not fair D: I want to be able to have sleepovers with Emily every day. Oh well, it's not all summer. Haha. But I am leaving next month. Only for two days though...but still D: Oh wellz, it is how it is. I have Adam and Kris to keep me company. Every morning I wake up they have inappropriate positions upon each other...oh well. :)